Wednesday, December 31, 2003

 
Check Yourself

posted at 10:02 AM

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

 
Closing another chapter.

I swear it would make a good book, my love life. What would I title this last chapter? I'm definitely going to have to spend some time with that, thinking of the book and its juicy contents, how I would organize it, what I'd include, what would have to be left out. What I would change their names* to, you know, to protect their privacy.

What amazes me is that lately, I don't end these chapters with anger or resentment or regret. Hell, the day before the chapter ends is usually something that love songs are made of. It's good to leave while things are still good, you know? So that everyone is smiling.

"Why?", you might ask, "Why are you ending things if it's all so good?" Well, my friend, that's an excellent question. Living your life as open and considerate and accepting as you possibly can does not always mean that others are able to do the same. Agreeing to disagree. Understanding that I don't do anything less than 100%. Knowing that I know what I want, I know what I need. So there you go. Bottom line, some decisions make themselves for you.

Moving on.

New year. New risks. New chances. New adventures. Am I up for it? Hell yeah. I wouldn't change a thing about those chapters. The last half of 2003 taught me volumes about love and life and people. Beginning with someone who made me feel more than I've ever felt in my life, who made all of my senses ignite and burn with intensity that could never be put into words; ending with someone who felt so right it hurt inside, who made me struggle continuously with what I was feeling on the inside and what to give him on the outside. And, of course, all of those in between.

Bring it. I'm ready for more.

posted at 3:00 PM

Sunday, December 28, 2003

 
Post-Christmas-What-Do-I-Do-With-Myself-And-All-This-Free-Time Blues

Well, it's December 28. That means that I have about four more days of vacation. Not sure yet what I'm going to do with it. I had all these plans...what happened? I've been busy. Lots going on.

Went to M Town for Christmas. It was nice and relaxing. Went to Christmas eve mass with my mom, Mike, and Mathew. What a nice service, what beautiful music. A nice string quartet and a beautiful choir. The music really made it for me. I have to admit here that at one point, the music moved me to tears. Uncontrollable tears. It's the first time that I've been so moved by something that elicited such an emotional response from me which was so unexpected. What a strange feeling. What a good feeling. It was beautiful. I have no idea what the song was or what else was happening at that particular minute, but it was really good, obviously. It's good to tear up every now and then. I think. B had a great Christmas, of course, that child has anything and everything a 3 year old could ever want...even at such a young age, you can somehow tell that he's appreciative. It's very interesting. The highlight, though, was listening in on a phone conversation between B and Emma, who, unfortunately, spent Christmas in Florida. Two 3 year-olds conversing about I have no idea what was the cutest damned thing I've ever seen or heard. Sure did miss Emma and Corbie this year.

I never wrote about my trip to the homeless shelter before Christmas. It's because I'm really having a difficult time putting into words the way I felt, the things I saw, the events of that evening. (No, there was no wine involved.) It was really impactful, very humbling. You don't know need and gratitude until you've given a homeless person two new pairs of socks and seen the smile on his or her face. It was just all so awful and wonderful, all at once. Like I said, difficult to put into words.

Since the holiday, things have been pretty low-key.

Friday
One more gift exchange. A really nice knife. Family introductions that bring a sense of comfort and ease, even if unwarranted. Laughter. A hockey game. A shitty rooftop bar. A nauseating removal of the sutures.

Saturday
Kickstarting my day the right way. Naps. Running errands that bring a sense of comfort and ease, even if unwarranted. New pasta bowl and knife-inspired cooking -- a nice, big meal of bruschetta, pasta, salad. Yummy. Forgetting. Baking pies. Forgetting. A scary movie.

Today
Note reading. Book reading. Coffee and reflection. Realizing that nothing is unwarranted. Nothing is without purpose or reason. Everything happens for a reason. Knowing that as long as I life my life without regrets, that's all that really matters.

Have a great week, everyone.

posted at 9:30 AM

Saturday, December 20, 2003

 
Head hurting.

I had no intentions of drinking last night. The blind date was rescheduled until Sunday, and I thought I'd be spending a quiet evening at home, but it just didn't turn out that way. I was home alright, but I had two unexpected visitors, and what do you do when you have unexpected visitors? You open a bottle of wine. Or two. You know, one for each visitor. What a strange evening. I seem to have a lot of those lately.

And a big THANKS to Joe and Will. (That was serious, not sarcastic.) Nothing like waking up with a Saturday morning headache, being forced into laughter and tears. I'm saving the messages, they're that good.

Must finish Christmas shopping today. I'm about to head out, I hope my credit card doesn't burst into flames from all the swiping.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLY!!!!! I'm so glad I get to spend it with you this year. Sushi and drinks, then off to do some dancing tonight. (If you can call what we do "dancing"...) I love you.

Happy weekend, everyone.
My advice for the day: be careful what you wish for.

posted at 10:16 AM

Thursday, December 18, 2003

 
Last Day.

Sigh..............................

I just kicked some ass at bowling at my company holiday party. I kept the Heineken count to only two this year, given my performance at the last Base event after five or six...Not to mention, I don't think there are Vision employees who like to be spanked. We all know that last year's spankees loved it. God, I hope someone burned those pictures.

Two week vacation. What on earth will I do with my time between now and then? Well, I'll probably still work, but at least I can do it in my PJ's with optional showering and teeth brushing.

I realized last night at youth group that I really can't play games with kids. I mean, if they can't compete at my level, I just think they should stay out of the game. My poor unborn children...they have no chance. I feel for them, I really do.

posted at 4:48 PM

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

 
I had no idea that I liked "The Cars" so much. I'm sharing iTunes on our servers here with some co-workers. That rocks!

What a busy day today. Only one more day until my vacation begins. Of course, I never really get away from work...but at least I don't physically have to be back here until January 2.


posted at 3:29 PM

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

 
Fajumbled. Bewazzled.

The past 48 hours have been extremely interesting for me. So much to tell, so much I can't say at all, so little time.

I got some AMAZING news this week that tops this list. I'm so excited about it I can hardly contain myself. I am sworn to silence, though. When I am able to tell, I will shout it from the rooftops.

My plans for my vacation over the Christmas holiday remain tentative because things keep changing... I know I will be home a few days for the holiday, but other than that, I need to nail something down soon because I'm getting frustrated.

In an effort to try to score some Stars and Mavs tickets for Louie, I scored some for myself. It's very complicated how this works, how I get these tickets. Let's just say I have some kick ass seats to a couple Stars games and a Mavs game coming up. Yeah!

I accepted a blind date for this weekend. Then I remembered it's Kelly's birthday. No matter what I say, it will no doubt sound like I've either gotten a better offer or am blowing him off. I will think of something. All I know is that Kelly wants to go dancing, and I'm a little past due myself. It is time.

Sigh.

He makes me laugh.
He intrigues me to no end.
He still makes my heart skip a beat.
He keeps me guessing.
He makes me anxious.
He surprises me.
He smells so good.
His smile makes me melt inside.
He makes me feel so comfortable.
He takes the words right out of my mouth.
He adores me.
There's nothing he wouldn't do for me.

Now then. If I could figure out how to merge them all into one person, life would be grand.

posted at 5:16 PM

Monday, December 15, 2003

 
Sorry. You're probably going to get a few posts of lyrics from the new Sarah McLachlan album, "Afterglow". Every time she comes out with a new album, I'm immediately in love with 1-3 of the songs on it because I love the lyrics so much. This is one of them this week.

"Answer" by Sarah McLachlan

I will be the answer, at the end of the line
I will be there for you, while you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty, I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance, if you can't look down

If it takes my whole life I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it, worth it in the end
Because I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently, into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life, I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it, worth it in the end
Because I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently into morning
For the night has been unkind.


posted at 11:10 AM

 
I hate mornings like this.

I am the Queen of the Snooze Button. I set my alarm for about 6:30 every morning (well, no one knows what time it REALLY is when the alarm goes off, given that I play that game with myself by making my clocks all a few or several minutes ahead to keep me on my toes and early, for the most part.) Anyway, the alarm is set to go off around 6:30, and I snooze it for a good hour or so, depending on how comfy and dreamy I am when it goes off. (Also, sometimes Lily is still sleeping with me and she's just too cute to budge with her little head nestled somewhere next to me with her little paw covering her eyes.) Sigh.

So this morning, the alarm went off as usual and I hit the snooze button a good 6 or 7 times as usual. Finally, around 7:35, I opened my eyes, looked at the ceiling, and thought, "Damn, I've got to go back to work today...must go make coffee." Then, I sat straight up in bed when I suddenly realized (remembered) that I had an 8:00 meeting/conference call at the office. Shit!

So here I sit, still wearing some of my pajamas. I am a sight, I tell ya. It's days like these that make me thankful that I don't still have my webcam hooked up.

Speaking of cams, my digital camera is working again. I fixed it! I am a genius. Stay tuned for some pics (that Jonathan will have to upload for me, since I'm a little less genius in that area.)

Now for the weekend -- reading and shopping. I've completed almost all of my Christmas shopping, just a few more gifts left to purchase. I realized this weekend that I really don't mind the crowded shopping malls...I hate the Christmas music in the stores. At Northpark, there was a choir of children singing (screaming) off-key that was driving me insane. Now, I will admit this: If Emma and B were two of those singing children, it would have been the most adorable thing I've seen to date, but given that neither of them live here, it was annoying the shit out of me.

Okay. I'll also admit that I was trying to have a conversation on my cell phone while the children were singing/screaming.

So that's it. Oh yeah -- The Frosty's Winter Wonderland is still in full force in my cube farm. We've determined that there was some sort of shady bribery going on with the judges, and that's why we didn't win. (Of COURSE!)

posted at 10:14 AM

Saturday, December 13, 2003

 
MMMMMMMOLE. MMMMOLY MOLY MOLY MOLY...

I have an extremely low threshold for pain, a very low pain tolerance. (Unlike my sister, who, at 9 months of pregnancy, called to ask me if she should go to the doctor because she was feeling some "light pressure" every 4 minutes or so. "You're in LABOR Holly! Go! I'll be there in two hours!") I digress, as usual...

So I go to the dermatologist yesterday for a lil' check up. I wanted to know why I experience every physical manifestation of stress -- break outs, HIVES, you name it. Then she asked if I'd like her to do a mole check, due to the fact that I love the sun, I love the pool, I love the ocean, I love the outdoors -- and I hate the sunscreen. My heart started to race. I said, "Sure."

So you get butt naked (well, I kept my panties on for most of the time) and let someone examine you from scalp to toe -- looking at every dot, freckle, mole, every imperfection. Of course, she starts laughing as she began, saying, "Yep, there are the hives...am I making you stressed?" Nice. Itching AND standing there naked with two strangers in a very sterile white, cold, examination room.

So the reason I've never let a dermatologist do this before is, I KNOW I abuse my skin in the sun. I've ALWAYS known that I am more than likely a walking malignant mole carrier. I lovvvvvve to have "sun-kissed" skin. There's one mole in particular that has always worried me, and as soon as she got to it, she says, "It's coming off. Today. If you're not prepared to do it today, you have to come in on Monday." This woman, who had been joking and having fun with me for the past 30 minutes, suddenly becomes this scalpel-carrying drill sergeant -- she was NOT letting me leave there without taking a little piece of me with her.

So it's gone. And I have these STITCHES in my leg, which really grosses me out. (I've never had stitches before.) And it HURTS.

Really, I just wanted to whine about that for a bit. I feel better now. Must finish Christmas shopping.

posted at 2:25 PM

Friday, December 12, 2003

 
Oh yeah, one more thing.

Apparently, someone with a phone number very similar to mine decided to discontinue some of his/her phone options (voicemail, caller ID, call waiting, LONG DISTANCE, clearly everything but the service itself.) And APPARENTLY over the past week, they've still been GETTING all of these services, because all of mine were cancelled with the slip of a finger, a tiny mis-key on the part of a SBC Service Representative.

So, if you've tried to reach me at home over the past week or so (I have no idea how long it's been going on, I just thought no one loved me anymore), that's why my voicemail and I have not been answering the phone, nor have I seen your calls on caller ID.

"SBC. Going Beyond the Call."

posted at 10:42 AM

 
The True Spirit of the Season...Competition.

I have a mean competitive streak in me...It's why playing board games with my family often turns out ugly, it's why playing golf with others sometimes turns into a sour, nasty afternoon, it's why bowling with my priest sometimes gets a little out of hand. BUT, I love it. I love the thrill of competition and the excitement, adrenaline rush, and energy that builds as a result of it.

So earlier this month, the receptionist at my company sent out an e-mail inviting all employees to participate in a cube decorating contest for the holidays. I wrote it off as just some bullshit company holiday crap, said there's no WAY I'm participating in that nonsense, I've got WORK to do around here! Well, yesterday, one of my co-workers and I decided to take a walk around the office to see what other groups were doing for the contest. Some pretty cool stuff, some good ideas, some nice decorations. But we could DEFINITELY top that. Oh yeah. We wrapped things up at the office and headed to Wal Mart. We had several great ideas for our area, but ended up just buying anything and everything WHITE and SILVER, and decided to transform our cube area into a Winter Wonderland. I felt like I was decorating for prom or something. It took 5 hours. 1,500 white sparkly lights, yards upon yards of silver and white tinsel, snow capped cube walls, snow covering the ground, and silver icicles EVERYWHERE...it looks like Frosty the Snowman threw up all over the place. And speaking of Frosty, we went ahead and bought one of those 10-foot blow up Frosty's. You know, the ones that people have in their yards, that blow up and light up, and bring all that holiday CHEER to passers-by? Yeah, we've got one of those crammed into the cube farm as well. "Frosty's Winter Wonderland".

Now, if we don't win this contest, there will be some hell to pay. Granted, the prize is just LUNCH. (Clearly, we didn't do a cost-benefit analysis before starting the project.) But I want to WIN, damn it!

By the way, if anyone is interested in buying a big-ass, 10-foot, self-inflatable Frosty for his or her yard for this holiday season, please just let me know. I'm sure my apartment office will find a way to charge me some sort of pet deposit-type fee for having him here. Plus, I just don't "do" holiday decorating. :)

posted at 10:31 AM

Thursday, December 11, 2003

 
Coupling

So, Amber's post about friends always hooking her up with men inspired me this morning to write about the institution of dating.

My married friends love the juicy, dramatic stories that make up my dating life. They can't believe some of the situations I bring to them, either for advice or just needing an outsider's opinion on a situation. Not that I kiss and tell, not that things in my life aren't sacred, but in GENERAL, I find myself in some pretty fucked up situations as it relates to dating and men. And it always makes for good conversation.

I'd like to SAY that I hate dating, but I don't. I find it quite exciting. I used to turn down all offers for blind dates/set-ups, but not anymore. At least, not since I've had some really good experiences with blind dates. Last night, I became the victim of another set-up situation. This one should prove to be quite interesting, given the circumstances. Families who have known each other for generations...two single twenty-somethings living in the same city, just lookin' for love in all the wrong places, I guess. We'll see.

There's not too much that the blog readers know about my dating life, as I don't really write about it here. Mostly because I've never been ABLE to. There are too many sensitive, delicate details that can't be mentioned. Well, they COULD, but given the audience and the situations in the past, I just haven't done it.

I don't, however, mind posting stories that others bring me. :)
Just this morning, an IM from a friend brought me some shock and awe, and a little laughter. Apparently, he got drunk at his company holiday party last night. That's never a good thing. So a co-worker (female) approached him, said she'd like to get to know him better. She clearly said this in a manner that did not mean that she wanted to know all about his parents, childhood, or favorite color. So (in front of his boss at the table) he talked things over with her, and they left together. Now, he's a little regretful that all of this took place in front of his boss, but the rest of the story is even better...

Me: So, did you stay at her place last night?
Him: Yeah.
Me: And?
Him: And what?
Me: Please tell me you're not wearing the same thing to work today that you wore to the holiday party?
Him: No, I bought some new clothes at Banana Republic on the way to work this morning.
Me: Nice.
Me: So are things awkward at the office this morning?
Him: No, not at all.
Me: So what do you think? Do you think you might actually be interested in her?
Him: Well, that's not really relevant. She usually dates women.
Me: Holy shit. This is good.

Of course, the conversation didn't end there, it would actually make a great "Sex and the City" episode...the point is, dating is always an adventure. You just have to open yourself up to the adventure. If you're not willing to take some chances or go out on a limb every now and then, hush some of the doubts in your head or break some of your own "rules", then you never accumulate good stories to tell.

posted at 10:05 AM

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

 
Hmmm...strange. And interesting.

I'm in a very strange mood today. Everything that I see or hear is... "Hmm... very strange." Or "Hmmm.... very interesting." I'm a skeptic today for some reason. It could be that there are so many WEIRD things going on in my life right now. Or, it could be because I am such a weirdo.

Whatever.

So last night, I watched "Celebrity Poker" featuring the cast of "The West Wing" and then "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" on Bravo. Those are two damned good shows, I tell ya.

First, "Celebrity Poker" made me want to put together a poker group. Weekly or bi-weekly, perhaps. BYOB. Move from home to home each week. I'm working on it. But only people who are ready and willing to gamble. Not just "play cards". I'm not sure what that's all about anyway... Stay tuned.

Next, I want to become bestest friends with those boys on "Queer Eye". I just love them. I want them to move in with me. I want to hug them. I want to get really, really drunk with them.

I'm pasting a recipe below for you. (I know! Such a THOUGHT PROVOKING post for you today AND a surprise at the end!!!!) I made it last night, am eating the leftovers today. It's very delicious.

Carol's Chicken and Wild Rice Recipe
In a saucepan, combine:
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of celery soup
1 can cream of chicken soup
2 soupcans of milk
3/4 cup of butter
1 box Uncle Ben's Original Recipe Long Grain Wild Rice

Heat this mixture until the butter is melted.
Pour 1/2 mixture in a 9 X 13 pan
Place boneless, skinless chicken breasts on top (I usually buy one package and cut up the 4 breasts into smaller, bite-sized pieces. It cooks faster that way, and is easier to serve. You can also do the chicken tenders.)
Pour remaining mixture on top
Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese
Bake uncovered for 2 1/2 hours at 275 degrees


posted at 11:45 AM

Monday, December 08, 2003

 
"Rabbits and cats and gazelles, oh my!"

There are bunnies that run around the courtyard outside my apartment at night. And I love them.
Which reminds me...one day not too long ago there was a kid running around out there with a rabbit on a leash. Isn't that a bit odd? I didn't even know they made leashes for rabbits. The poor thing looked so scared. I think I'm anti-rabbit leash now. Yes, for sure. It's strange the way we pick up our convictions.

Speaking of animal abuse... My friend April has RENAMED her cat. The cat's name has been "Scarlet" ever since I've known April and Scarlet. One day, April started talking about this "Libby". Finally I ask, "Who the hell is Libby?" "Well, my mom has renamed Scarlet," she says. "She just thinks that Libby fits her better. She looks like a Libby." I warned her that she was going to put that poor cat through an identity crisis! (I use the phrase "poor cat" very loosely, here...that cat is a princess in that home.) You never know what could happen, though. Cats are strange! They could start pissing in strange places or leaving nice little puddles of vomit and hairballs all over the place for you, just to punish you. Perhaps she likes the name change. At least April tells me she does. And this is what permits me to sleep at night.

Next, my 77 year-old Aunt B has become a home shopping addict. She now gets daily deliveries from QVC -- at least one package a day. She's done all of her Christmas shopping via the QVC, and she's so proud that she's been done for weeks. She has been struggling, however, with what to buy her daughter-in-law, with whom she lives. (Now, I really hope that Julie, the daughter-in-law, doesn't go out and visit this blog before Christmas, because this is going to be one hell of a funny gift exchange that I am just anxious like a child to see!)

So Aunt B calls me last night to tell me that she's finally found something for Julie. She's made the purchase, and she certainly hopes that she likes it. She just couldn't think of ANYTHING ELSE to get her. I can't wait to see the look on Julie's face as she unwraps this.

I guess you have to know all of the players in this game to really get why this is so hilarious (tears rolling down my cheeks as I'm typing.) Whew. Laughter really is the best medicine.

posted at 4:15 PM

Sunday, December 07, 2003

 
Nice Weekend

Well, I did exactly as I predicted on Friday, I slept my weekend away. Strange hours of sleep, spontaneous naps, some grazing in the kitchen every now and then, some cleaning, some reading. I only left the house once, to rent some (crap) movies. It was nice to get out, it really was. Now these four walls are closing in on me and I'm ready to go to work tomorrow! I'm serious! I spent Friday afternoon at work getting my desk all nice and cleaned up...organized. I'm actually excited about going in to work tomorrow.

The weekend didn't go by without any contact with other human beings. Quite a few phone calls, from family and friends, to see how I was feeling. Some nice little chats. Also a surprise visitor, that's always nice. Everything's just niiiiiiiiiice. Yes.

With all this time on my hands this weekend, I did a lot of thinking. Lots of writing in the journal. Lots of things to sort out. Of course, these aren't the types of things that are sorted out in a weekend...some of them can't be sorted out in a lifetime, but I pondered them just as well.

I hope everyone else had a nice weekend.
And for those of you who have also been feeling under the weather, I hope you're better, too. :)

posted at 9:17 PM

Friday, December 05, 2003

 
Nose: running.
Chest: full.
Head: clogged.
Body: tired.

Is there anything better in this world than Halls Mento-Lyptus strawberry-flavored "Advanced Vapor Action" cough drops? I don't think so, my friend. Well...maybe my bed. I think my bed is better than this.

I plan to sleep my weekend away. Sleep, sleep, sleep. I need it. I haven't slept through the night in about three nights. I'm in a surprisingly good, positive mood, though.

posted at 8:59 AM

Thursday, December 04, 2003

 
My, my, my.

I think I'm coming down from the medication high. (For those of you who don't know me, I NEVER take medication unless it's absolutely necessary. I might be a hypochondriac, but I'll be damned if you're going to convince me to medicate myself. Especially with prescription drugs.)

I need to write a little bit about my 3-hour dentist visit today...

It's a brand new office, a new dentist for me. First, when you walk in, you feel like you're walking into a dentist-office-design gallery. This place is decorated more extensively than I've seen some model homes decorated. For real. Words really can't explain it. The waiting room is complete with a big, comfy couch that faces a (lit) fireplace. Above the mantle, a very large flat screen TV inside a clever little bamboo frame. I almost curled up and spent my day and evening there. But they called me back for my cleaning...

Have you ever had your teeth sprayed with what they call a "sandblaster"? Holy moly. It's salt and baking soda, spraying onto your teeth at a speed and pressure that could adequately power wash your stucco home, if you've got one. It kind of hurt. This is really not the CLEANING, by the way. So next came the scraping, the cleaning, the polishing, the rinsing, the spitting. You know the drill. Ha ha! No pun intended. All of this, remember, with the orthodontics ON.

Then comes the dentist's inspection. Three cavities. Now, this is quite shocking to me. I haven't had cavities in YEARS. Not to mention I am an over-brusher like you wouldn't believe it. I have to replace my toothbrush once or twice a month because the bristles are so flat from the overbrushing. How can MY teeth have cavities? I would think that I was getting screwed on this deal if they hadn't taken those VERY NICE, up-close photographs of the teeth and the decay. Bottom line, I've not had cavities over the past few years because my prior dentists haven't had the right technology! ;)

So the cavities are filled. Three hours in The Chair. You know, the dentist chair doesn't bother me like it does some people. Namely, my brother and sister. I can pretty much guarantee that they haven't read this far...my brother is probably dry-heaving if he's made it this far, and Holly is gritting her teeth and reading this with only one eye squinted open as if this post were a horror film. Drilllllllll... Grinddddddd..... Suction. Spit. It's all kind of relaxing to me.

Remember, kids. Every six months!

posted at 3:15 PM

 
The Holidays are About Sharing...

2 Echinacea
2 Vitamin C
1 B Complex
2 Tylenol Allergy and Sinus
4 Amoxicillin (for the dentist)
1 Birth Control Pill
All swallowed down with one Vitamin Water.

Surely, with all that, I will kick whatever it is I picked up from sick family and friends over the Thanksgiving holiday. Surely!

Ughhhhhhh...snot.

posted at 8:51 AM

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

 
Happy Birthday Maili and Allison!

That's all I've got for now. More later.

posted at 11:41 AM

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

 
Really. Nothing surprises me.

People are so unpredictable, for the most part. Some people, who you know really well, are predictable in small ways here and there...but really, people are always capable of doing things that are completely out of character, or they make really bad decisions, or they just step out of their skin for a little while and live a life that isn't what you or they expected. I mean, come on, look at Michael Jackson.

I have a friend who is in an interesting relationship. In my opinion, it's a terribly unhealthy situation. I know my opinion doesn't really matter...but I think that, some days, he would describe it this way as well. I was thinking about this relationship last night, and I thought to myself that he will either end this relationship or elope -- and neither would surprise me.

People at work don't surprise me. All of the political bullshit I see day-to-day...none of it is surprising, shocking. And that's unfortunate. It's all quite disappointing. But people in the workplace all wear several hats, have a few faces, if you get my drift. I guess in any organization you see this -- work, school, church, whatever. Because people are walking around waiting for the perfect moment to shock you.

So I've been wondering a lot lately if I've become a little jaded, a little numb? Things that should be quite shocking (or even sometimes hurtful) just roll off of me. A lot of shaking of the head, shrugging of the shoulders, whispering of "whatever" under my breath..."it is what it is." I know that my glass is half empty with a big fat hole in it, but I'm ready to become a little more optimistic about life, people, things, situations, everything.

And so the New Year's Resolution List begins.

posted at 8:20 AM

Monday, December 01, 2003

 
Ummm.... Yeahhhh... I'll just be under my desk for a little while for some shut-eye. A little nappy-poo. Please hold my calls.

posted at 10:29 AM