Monday, June 30, 2003

Porn is taking over my life.

I'm opening my hotmail this weekend, going through the normal process of deleting all the porn and other junk mail before going through my personal e-mails... Started opening the normal e-mails, clicking "next" to get to the next e-mail, and either I missed a porn e-mail in the deleting process, or it arrived in my inbox post-deletion phase, because as I hit "next"... there it was. I'm afraid that if I type out here what I saw, I'll start receiving all kinds of traffic to my blog from all kinds of sick-os looking for this particular item in their search engines.

So, long story made long, as usual... I get 10 times the porn I used to, probably because I showed some interest in the subject matter by accidentally opening an e-mail. Freakin' eMarketers.

That's all I've got for now.
Pretty straightforward.

posted at 11:30 AM

Sunday, June 29, 2003

(Not) as Good as it Gets

I've done zero work today. This is a good thing in the Big Scheme of Things that is my life.

I love a good book. If I recommend a book to you, do you think of me while you're reading it? I do this. I'm doing it now. I wonder what you thought as you were reading it...

It's about ten hours until it's officially Monday.
You know, sometimes it's just nice to have something to look forward to.
Hold on to the little things in life that make you happy.

My cat snores. And I love that so much it makes me full of happy.

posted at 3:28 PM

Saturday, June 28, 2003

At the office now.
I haven't eaten anything today.
I did shower, only about an hour ago.
I need a massage, my body hurts.
I hate whining.

posted at 5:41 PM

What a way to spend a Saturday...

Would you like to come over and help me review these web pages??? I'm doing a complete review of this web site that (I hope) launches on Monday or Tuesday. I'm seeing issues, but hopefully they're not too difficult to fix Monday morning before the client arrives.

I love Blondie. ;)
Call me! (call me) on the line
Call me, call me any, anytime
Call me! (call me) my love
You can call me any day or night
Call me!

I hope you're enjoying your day.

I've thought of you today, have you thought of me?

Peace out.

posted at 2:28 PM

Friday, June 27, 2003

I am bouncing off the walls.

I have had so much coffee this morning that I am shaking. I usually have half a cup in the morning before work, and I've just consumed a venti coffee frappa-whatever and I can't quit tapping my foot or shaking my leg. I wonder if I will crash at some point? I feel like I can jump over a house right now, if I got a good enough head start.

What a way to start my day... happy. :)

I had a fun evening last night -- drinks with some Basers at Taco Diner. Good conversation and good company, and not too much to drink so I'm feeling fine today. (Or, the coffee is playing with my MIND...) It was good to see everyone.

I have no big plans for the weekend. Going to the horse races tonight. Surely I will leave there a multi-millionaire. It's all about strategy and the power of positive thinking.

Happy Birthday Rachael. You're a big girl now and I love you very much.

posted at 9:40 AM

Thursday, June 26, 2003


posted at 2:35 PM

What is today?

I fell asleep on my couch last night at about 8:00...maybe a little later, I have no idea. I woke up hungry in the middle of the night, then went back to sleep. My body is tired. My mind is tired. I really have nothing to offer the blog readers, because my mind is void of anything interesting or thought-provoking. It's nice to give the brain a little break from the normal analysis paralysis once in a while.

I really want to be on a beach right now... just listening to the water. That would be really nice right now. Actually, no, I'd prefer to be on a boat. In the middle of nowhere, at sea. With nothing but my swimsuit, some shorts, some beer, maybe some recreational drugs, a good book or two, and a lot of time. Not necessarily alone, either. Although time to myself is always good. I need some stimulating conversation, though, so alone wouldn't work. While I'm dreaming, let me go ahead and say that there's no rain in the forecast on this little trip. Just beautiful, somewhat windy weather -- not too hot, not cold at all... just perfection. Lots of water. Yeah... that's the ticket.

I've got to snap out of it and begin reviewing this web site that I need to launch early so that I can take a day off to NOT do the things outlined above. :)

Why am I still coughing?
What is a Columbus decanter?

It's Thursday. Or as Jonathan would say, Turdsday. So it's almost Friday... I'm counting down the minutes.

posted at 9:19 AM

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

I need help.

Work stress. I just love it! Keeps me going! Gives me a reason to live! Makes me smile! Makes me jump out of bed in the morning!


It will surely be over soon... but not without losing my hair, biting my nails, my face looking like that of an 8th grade boy, and an over-consumption of unhealthy foods.

I miss my life.

Someone come and take me away...

posted at 8:31 AM

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Drama at the vision.

I hate to see someone lose her job. I really do. This is why I don't work in HR anymore.
Yesterday, one of my counterparts (buzzword!) was fired. Now I'm doing all of her work. Plus mine. Yeah!
Make sure you understand voicemail etiquette. It could come back and bite you in the ass.

I have ants. In my apartment. But not in my pants. They like Lily's food, and I can't be having that. So I'm killing them.

Unfortunately, I don't have much that I CAN post today, and very limited time.
I hope everyone is having a good week.

posted at 7:26 AM

Sunday, June 22, 2003

Another restless night.
Another beautiful day.
Another reason to be thankful.
Another day without.
Another day of contemplation.
Another day of silence.
Another purpose altogether.
Another situation of circumstance.
Another person who does not know me.
One person who does?

One cat who punishes me for leaving by throwing up on my carpet.

posted at 12:55 PM

Saturday, June 21, 2003

I love music.
I bought 3 new CDs today.
And a dress.
And a new shirt.

It's a beautiful day, and I haven't done anything that I planned to do today.

I had scary dreams about crocodiles last night. Must look up the meaning of that.
Then I had a really good dream that I remembered when I woke up, but cannot remember it now. All I know is that I wanted to go back to sleep and continue dreaming... because it was so good...but I couldn't. That was 11:00 this morning. I am a lazy ass.

posted at 4:41 PM

Friday, June 20, 2003

The energy I see
The silence that you speak
The lust within my dreams
And what It says to me
This full heart of mine
You just can't empty

I see the sunshine
When I look into your eyes
They speak of worlds gone by
We loved another time
My heart was empty
Till you came to be

posted at 9:31 AM

happiness \Hap"pi*ness\, n. [From Happy.]
2. An agreeable feeling or condition of the soul arising from good fortune or propitious happening of any kind; the possession of those circumstances or that state of being which is attended enjoyment; the state of being happy; contentment; joyful satisfaction; felicity; blessedness.

Are you happy?
How do you define happy?
Everyone defines happiness differently. And that's okay.
How important is happiness in your life?

I'm feeling much better today. Still coughing. Still wanting to be in my bed. But I'm hungry again, that's got to be a good sign.

That's all I've got this morning.
Maybe more later.

posted at 8:32 AM

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Just (try to) Say No

I tried fighting it with Vitamin C.
I tried Echinacea.
I tried Vicks Vap-o-rub.
I tried steaming it away.
I tried thinking it away.

The doctor says I need the good stuff. Three prescriptions worth.
I really hate taking medication.
Won't the body eventually heal itself?
I had this debate with the doctor last night. He agrees that it will. But he still says, "Take the medication. On schedule. Get some rest. Drink lots of fluids. Quit being so stubborn."

So that's the story of my life today. I'm under the influence.
And I'm a real big baby when I'm sick.
I need my mom to make me some potato soup, which will cure ANYTHING, I promise. She puts a bunch of love in it, which makes it that much more potent. It's the bomb.

posted at 9:19 AM

Wednesday, June 18, 2003


I need to go to the doctor, I think. A lady I work with (her cube is across from mine) is paranoid that I have pneumonia. She looks like a mom, so I'm thinking I should listen to her. If my mom could actually *hear* me, she'd be telling me the same thing. Do I sound that awful, though? I mean, pneumonia is some pretty serious shit. I doubt I have PNEUMONIA. Crazy lady.

Problem is, I have this big meeting tomorrow for which I'm not 100% prepared. Have I ever mentioned on this blog how much I hate client work? I want to run away. Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly far, far away...

I had a good lunch today with Justin, Jonathan, and Jim. You guys continue to crack me up, and lifted my spirits today. I almost forgot that I wasn't feeling well. Thank you.

It's Wednesday. Two and a half days until the weekend.
I'm driving into Mineola on Saturday morning to see my nephew play in a t-ball game. I can't wait. He's quite good for a 3 year-old. Of course, I'll have to take him a surprise of some sort for what a good job he's going to do. He and Emma (my niece) are such angels. I would give them the world if I could.

Have you ever wanted to crumble someone up into little pieces so that you can carry them around in your shirt pocket all the time, keep them close to your heart? I have.

posted at 2:27 PM

I'll write more today, but this morning, I really think that if you don't have a Norah Jones CD, you have to get one.
The best song on this album:

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

posted at 8:44 AM

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

Silent Sigh

You and me could never hide
To busy walking out of stride
Take 1, 2, 3, and 4 or 5
People talking keeps us alive

I love the "About a Boy" soundtrack. Badly Drawn Boy is the band. Man, another good one is on...

File me away in your heart someday
You just be you
I'll be me, ok

I have nothing today.
Well, I have so much.
There's just no obvious place to start.

Plus I have all this work to do.
And there's no obvious place to start.

I just want to lie in bed all day.
That sounds really good to me right now.

posted at 10:03 AM

Monday, June 16, 2003

I'm feeling a little whiny and needy today...

I'm tired.
I'm moving very slowly.
I need a swift kick in the ass.
I need a few days off.
I miss my bed.
I hate copy decks.
I hate freelancers.
I love sleep.
I love comfort.
I can't quit yawning.
I can't concentrate.
I need motivation.

Well that's TOO BAD!

posted at 9:14 AM

Sunday, June 15, 2003

3 hours of sleep... and GG is still going...

Good times at Jonathan's party, as usual. I'm hoping he'll help me post some pictures so that you can take a look at how I spent the evening -- Justin and I manning the highly coveted two-seater lawn chair on the back patio. The epitome of outdoor comfort, right there, buddy.

This morning, I got the sandwiches finished. Delivered. Nothing like spending The Morning After standing over God-knows-how-many pounds of tuna fish, mayo, hard-boiled eggs, and all the other stuff. Auughck. Like, totally gag me with a spoon. ;)

I need to go to sleep.
My body is angry with me.
I'm angry with me

posted at 8:27 PM

Saturday, June 14, 2003


Well, I'm very happy with how the weather turned out today, I hope it can hold through this evening for Jonathan's party. I got some errands in, and some swimming. I love swimming. I love water. It's GOT to be because I'm a Pisces. That was my big conclusion this afternoon. Now I'm hot -- a little too much sun. Those cloudy days always get ya.

So. Lily burned her tail on some candles I had lit in the house today. So now it smells like burning hair, and poor Lily is licking her tail like she's never licked it before.

Sears repair man came today. Fixed the washer. There were two problems -- one with the way it was installed when I moved into the new place, and a bad seal. With a bad seal, however, you have to replace the entire part that the seal is in, not just the little rubber seal. (Am I spelling "seal" correctly here? Looks strange...) Anyway, $168.85. Oh well, no more leaking. The best part of the Sears repair man visit was the conversation I had with him. I loved talking to him. I wanted him to stick around and have lunch so we could talk more. Man, wouldn't that have freaked him out. (And NO, he wasn't CUTE -- he was old and wise.) So that's that.

I hope everyone is enjoying his or her weekend.
Be good. Be safe. Beware of women wearing flip flops driving in the rain.


posted at 8:20 PM

Friday, June 13, 2003

I'm going home.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend, Friday is finally here!
I will see most of you Saturday night, if you're lucky. ;)


posted at 12:20 PM

Some objects in mirror may be larger than they appear.

I don't know where to begin.
1 - My brain is not functioning.
2 - There's just too much to say.

I had a good time with two of my favorite boys last night.
You know, every moment you spend with someone, you're creating a stronger bond with them... you learn more about them, they learn more about you... and it's literally by the minute. I love the dynamics of friendships, or relationships in general. Some are more complicated than others, but they're all worth exploring.

Today is a rainy day. The whole weekend is supposed to be nasty like this. What else can you do but sleep? I can tell you what else: make a you-know-what-load of sandwiches, get your washing machine fixed, catch up on laundry, go to a party... too much to do this weekend to lay around and sleep on my couch.

I hope everyone drives carefully this weekend -- the roads will be awful.
I hope you get what you wish for, if it's what you truly need.

posted at 9:12 AM

Thursday, June 12, 2003

I'm thinking of you today.

posted at 1:06 PM

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Artificial Lip Service

I just realized how terribly FAKE I sound when I'm on the phone with clients. It's awful. Who is that person? Where did she come from? I don't even LIKE her. Make her go away. I think The Man makes her talk that way.

My washer is leaking water onto the floor. I don't think I'll use The Client Voice with Sears. Especially since it costs me $55 for them to simply make the trip out to the house. If someone were paying me $55 to come over, I would let him or her talk to me any way they wanted to. LOL! Man, THAT ONE should stir up some comments!

It's Wednesday. That means it is STILL not the weekend.

You know how you hear people say, "I've got a new lease on life." Well, I want a new lease on life. Where do I get one of those?

posted at 9:30 AM

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

The Art of Putting Together the Perfect Group of Concert-Goers
-- by Lauri "I Swear that Sounded Like Black" Brian

What an awesome concert! That show isn't even worth going to unless you stay through the second encore. Maili, Mau and I saw the second encore much closer to the stage than our lawn seats allowed, and, well... all I can say is that it was a religious experience. So much fun. Even if I did mistake better man with black. (I'm going to go ahead and own up to that one because I'm sure I'll be slammed for it in the other blogs this morning...)

Why does my skin smell like a ten dollar import?

Thanks to the Ramirez family for providing all of the tailgate goodies for the entire group (and for taking me to and fro) -- I'm drawing up the adoption papers today so that we can just go ahead and make this thing legal. :)

Thanks to everyone who came! Whoo hooooooooooo!

posted at 8:58 AM

Sunday, June 08, 2003

Isn't it amazing how you can listen to a song... and one day it means one thing, and the next day it means something completely different to you. You can wonder about what it meant to the writer when he put the pen to the paper, but you'll never really know. I just like the way music speaks to you... if you're listening. I just get all worked up about this sometimes. I really do.

I'll paste some lyrics tonight for you that I liked for several different reasons this weekend.
Can't wait for the concert tomorrow.
I let go of a rope. Thinking that's what held me back.
And in time I've realized it's now wrapped around my neck.
I can't see what's next from this lonely overpass.
Hang my head and count my steps as another car goes past.

All the rusted signs we ignore throughout our lives.
Choosing the shiny ones instead.
I turned my back. Now there's no turning back.

posted at 11:44 PM

Saturday, June 07, 2003

When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what THAT man has to say.

For it isn't your father, or mother, or wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

Some people may think you a straight-shootin' chum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.

posted at 10:37 PM

Friday, June 06, 2003

Men at Work

There are men working today in my building. I mean actually WORKING, not like what the rest of us are doing. The rest of us are manipulating. They're doing all sorts of stuff -- sanding, painting, tearing down walls, looking all sweaty and handsome.

It's June, and I'm wearing a sweater today. It's very strange to dress for winter in June because it's freezing ass cold in your building. It has nothing to do with the fact that it's a little cooler outside than normal, it is ALWAYS THIS cold in here. My friends and family can vouch for the fact that I absolutely HATE being cold (despite the fact that Jonathan thinks there is cold blood running through my veins.) I'd rather be sweating and my skin burning than be cold. When I'm cold, I feel like my liver and pancreas are shaking inside of me. Show me the gates of hell! (Wow... that was dark.)

I'm very excited about the upcoming group trip to the PJ concert. My brother has the best heart. He's got a lot of tickets, and he's giving them to his friends, but also to random people who he sees throughout his normal daily life, but does not know, who often wear rock band T-shirts or look like they're in need of a good concert. He is so much like my dad that it kills me. Well, he's so much like my dad that it warms my heart.

What are your plans for the weekend? I've got all KINDS of things to do. Busy, busy. My strapping young athletic friend Will will be here biking, swimming, and running after something. I'm not sure what it is at the finish line that keeps him going, but I'm certainly glad he's doing it. So I'll probably see him, his toes, and his family for a bit. I've got a retreat on Saturday. Spending some time with the Bishop all weekend... any time I can bend someone's ear on the subject of religion, I'm there. What a treat. Hopefully the weather will clear up and I can spend some time near my rockstar pool on Sunday.

It's 8:30. Do you know where your coffee is? Mine is in the breakroom with the vending machine full of high saturated fat, high sugar, high carbs breakfast treats.

posted at 8:42 AM

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

What is a "bad day"...?

I was doing some reading tonight that has forced me into an analysis paralysis, but it's good thought-provoking thinking, so I'll let it continue... This book I've been reading off and on for a while really made me stop and think... it's written by Leo Buscaglia. It's titled "Living, Loving, and Learning" and the subject matter is very vast -- all kinds of good things.

Have you ever thought of what a "perfect day" is? In this book, the author is explaining one notion of "nature vs. nurture" as it relates to the ego. I'm going to paste below (credited above, so no harm done) for your reading pleasure. I hope it makes you think for a few minutes when you read it, too. Preceding these two paragraphs are some thoughts on love... how the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. So here goes the rest:

R.D. Laing, the psychiatrist I mention so often, said, "From the moment of birth you are programmed to become a human being, but always as defined by your culture and your parents and your educators." And then the horror of it all is that we become hooked on this learning, and we begin to equate the learning with us. Here we are, ourselves, but rather belong to our families, our cultures, our friends and so on and so forth. We take them with us, and then they become us, and we will die to defend that "us" and become apathetic to avoid facing the challenge of a new self.

We also create models of perfection. We spend our lives trying to make the outside world fit our notion of what is perfect. We really do! And what is, for example, the idea of a perfect day for us? A day that meets all of our needs, that goes just as we want it. And what is a bummer day? A bummer day is one that doesn't quite come out the way we wanted it. Well, tough for us! That's too bad if the day doesn't turn out the way we want it. The day was perfect -- it's we who were tampering with perfection. These expectations reinforce themselves. They shut out all possibilities of anything new coming at us which doesn't meet our addictions.

So there you have it. My only thought for the day for you is one that actually belongs to someone else. I guess it intrigued me tonight because I so often find myself being more apathetic about some things, rather than having a real feeling about them, such as hate, anger, dislike, what-have-you. Not that I'm never angered... it just takes a lot. :)

Have a nice evening.

posted at 9:53 PM

Monday, June 02, 2003


Why can't the work week be two or three days, and the weekend five or four? I mean, who made up these rules? WHO SAYS that we have to work more than we live? Mother Culture, I guess.

I had a great weekend. It actually seemed longer than it was. Those are the best kind.

I didn't do much Friday night, because I worked too late. This wasn't such a bad thing...

Saturday was very productive. I went over to Maili's for some relaxation and conversation by her pool, got some sun -- not too much, though. I also got my rebates done (whoo hooo!), the house cleaned, laundry done, treated myself to a mani/pedi, and made myself dinner. (Yes, people, I cooked.) Went to bed at a VERY decent hour, slept like a baby.

Sunday -- got up, went to church, and then met Louie for lunch. Whole Foods is by far the best place to get a quick salad. (Side note: definitely try their butternut squash and wild rice soup. Yummy!) Good conversation over lunch that never is long enough. Then I went to the pool at my apartment for the first time... yowza. That place is like a resort! So nice -- those cool little areas where you can lay in the water and sun on the little ledge-thingy... very relaxing! Interesting sights there, though... what, with all The Beautiful People and all... I've really got to make my way down to the treadmill more often... jeez louise.

Sunday evening I had the best meal I think I've ever had... my cousin is the best cook. Orange roughie with lemon-tarragon rub, cooked on the grill on a cedar board, then topped with a sauce made with white wine, shallots, tarragon, cream, butter, salt and pepper... mmmmmmm....; fresh green beans cooked with pine nuts; another steamed vegetable medley with red and green bell peppers, squash, carrots, asparagus, peas, broccoli, and zucchini; creamy mashed potatoes; and rustic italian bread. To die for! My mouth is watering. Thank God for Whole Foods. That's the freshest food in Dallas -- fresh fish and vegetables, freshly baked bread...mmmm... If you don't shop there, start.

Kelly and Doug arrived at 1:30 this morning. Looking for a new home today -- the closer to me, the better! :)

Have a great day everyone!
Don't melt in the rain!

posted at 10:08 AM